Personal Responsibility in Soul Contracts Involving Unhealthy Relationships
A few months ago I had the pleasure of speaking to an interesting and intelligent woman at a convention in Las Vegas who is a speaker/advocate for domestic violence victims and childhood sexual abuse survivors. Talk about a tough job! I discovered that we had a shared interest in metaphysical spirituality and philosophy. I’m sure this is why I found her fascinating!
The topic of soul contracts or pre-life designs (as I sometimes refer to them) came up naturally during our conversation about personal relationships. She brought up the idea of “karmic relationships.” I was surprised to hear her say that all forms of domestic violence and sexual abuse are the consequence of karmic soul contracts. I was alarmed that a woman of her influence would express this belief to me.
I have always supported the reincarnational cycle theory. Most of us reincarnate with at the minimum one mission in mind for each of our many incarnations. There is usually something we seek to accomplish or a lesson we wish to learn in order to redefine ourselves or improve a particular aspect of our character. I see this as a method of improving ourselves. I call this course of action the “pursuit of perfection.”
The idea of soul contracts has been confirmed by many metaphysical authors, past-life regression therapists, astral explorers, psychic investigators, and some publicly recognized professionals. It makes sense to me that, soul contracts would be an basic part of one’s pre-life designs.
In order to accomplish our mission(s), we must enlist the aid of others. It’s difficult to make any meaningful change in our personality without involving other people. So it becomes obvious why forming contractual relationships is vital to our pre-life planning. We have all kinds of relationships in life. We keep up relationships with people, places, objects, God, and already with our selves. They are all basic to our spiritual evolution.
Our relationships, especially our human ones, have a thorough and lasting impression on inner souls. In that way, our relationships greatly affect our outward personality. That’s because personal relationships include emotion. As we know (or should be aware of for our own good), emotions are one of the most powerful forces in the universe. Emotions always cause us to change, for better or for worse, whether we are aware of it or not. Sometimes these changes are quite subtle, but have a tremendous impact in creating our personal belief systems and our worldviews.
I have a good friend who believes that an individual should take total and complete responsibility for every single event that comes into his or her life. This is a healing philosophy that includes taking responsibility for any negative or traumatic events that we experience as an adult or in childhood. In my friend’s mind, the individual creates dysfunctional relationships and situations. I suppose these situations come to life by some universal rule such as the Law of allurement. This idea could possibly conflict with or complicate the karmic contract theory. By the way, my friend asserts that this philosophy has made him a better person. In that sense, I don’t doubt him.
I find this “total responsibility” idea to be a bit extreme. I do not think that a person should take responsibility for the bad behavior of another person. I feel we should accept our part in any relationship, but we should never take the blame for another person’s wrongdoings. In the case of children; they cannot take responsibility for anything that an adult does to them. So that argument makes no sense to me.
I can find nothing productive coming out of karmic soul contracts. A karmic contract, by its very character, implies that a person voluntarily agrees to play the victim role as “part of the deal.” According to the karmic relationship theory, the victim agrees to domestic or sexual abuse, by contract, prior to entering into a personal relationship. This kind of attitude creates all kinds of negative feelings in us which can rule to low self-esteem and without of self-confidence.
By accepting the karmic soul contract theory, we are inviting physical, mental, emotional, illness into our lives. This mentality can rule to harsh depression and an assured future of failed relationships. Is this what we want for ourselves? It also gives the abuser justification for his or her bad behavior. In that way, it can give the person a sense of strength. This leads to nothing good, as the abuser walks away learning very little, if anything, from the heartbreaking experience. In fact, if we validate the abuser in his or her role, it does nothing more than encourage the person to continue on with this hurtful behavior in future incarnations. I’ve always said a little short-term guilt is healthy.
I think that if two people entered into a soul contract with the intention of creating a “karmic relationship,” it is automatically telling one of the participants that he or she agrees to be unprotected to possible abuse by the other person. Why would anyone go into into a contract with the possibility of being abused? That is not logical. If this were the case, people would be forced to go into life with pre-existing animosity toward the soon to be abuser. A person might say, “Well we can both learn something from the experience.” Do we want to learn to hate the other person? I certainly wouldn’t want to learn to hate anyone, or for someone to hate me. Hate is an awfully strong information for a person to express. Hate is an all-consuming emotion, and it’s completely destructive. I can’t see that a soul contract of this character would ever be produced if the consequence would rule to hatred of the other person involved in the relationship. Such an outcome is advantageous to no one.
Let me say that it’s virtually impossible for either party of a soul contract to predict how a particular “play” or “drama” will unfold. A person’s life can go in any direction. Why would anyone ever want to go into into a contract with a person who abused them in a past lifetime? If this relationship turns out to be as bad as the past one, then did we learn anything from the experience? Will we continue on with this relationship in future lives? If so, how long does this relationship continue before we learn the ultimate lesson? Such behavior is a clear indication of insanity. We want to avoid instilling that kind of thinking in ourselves. It’s not healthy for us to indulge in such sadistic fantasies. I encourage comments and discussion on this issue.