Are You Being The Best You?

I recently spent some time reading a good friend, Simon T. Bailey’s book, “Releasing Your radiance” last night and it got me thinking along that path. Although I am a coach and work with individuals daily to find their inner wisdom, and to always build on their strengths, I often fail at reaching my own inner radiance.

A visit to my mentor coach, Dwight Bain, usually cures that. Dwight is working with me to focus on my strengths and not what drains me. My coaching session with Dwight made fireworks go off, and he challenged me to write the titles of my next 10 books. I’m happy to say that that exercise is done and I’m thrilled with what has developed.

I learned that we all have a fishing net that helps us capture opportunities or sales for our business. If there are holes in the fishing net, where systems aren’t set up, then you’re missing opportunities. I’ve got a few holes in my net, and part of that is wasting times on projects that aren’t profitable.

What I’ve been learning is that when you play many roles in many peoples lives, there are times that you just have to take a breath, slow down, and regroup. Sometimes, there are going to be moments of question in your mind, moments of doubt and moments where you think, is it all really worth it and is this what I really want anyway? Other times, you’ll think: “why did I just use all that time doing that and it did absolutely nothing advantageous for me whatsoever”.

Sometimes, the roles we play will take on more importance and we have to walk away or say, “not now” to the other roles we take an active role in during part of our lives. for example, for the past 2 weeks and this coming week, I’ve been letting the role of mom rule my time. I’ve been school shopping, and reading to my son, and visiting the library and squeezing in last minute play dates and fun times so he has fond memories of this summer. As a consequence, I haven’t finished a few projects sitting on my desk, and have had to turn down some work that has come my way during this time. Do I want the money? Who doesn’t? But my “role” this week is to be the best mom I can, so the money coming in doesn’t make me a better mom.

I have other projects that are in the gestation stage and my partners’ excitement is fun but again, I have to estimate it and ask myself: “does this fit in to my life right now and is it a priority for me”? My coach asked me to use the information: WIIFM – What’s In it For Me? He determined that I am a giver and often times give more than I’ve received. I have to agree that’s been true. As a consequence, I’ve been able to step away and look at the energy and time that will be given to that project, and what profit will it bring and will it satisfy my values? If not, then I have to say no, or not now to the project. If it does work in, then I can set up my systems so it benefits my business.

So now, I ask myself the question: “does this fill part of my net? Is this activity furthering my values or a project that I hope to finish?” If not, then I have to put the activity in my social time, or exercise or another value pushed activity. If it fits nowhere, I have to ask, is this the right thing for me to do at this time in my life?

What about you? Are you spending time doing things that don’t fill your net? Are you wasting time or allowing it to drain away? Or are you spending time being with the people that fill you and doing activities that will aid you or others close to you in some way?

The challenge is to figure out what you want to accomplish. Is it to be the best mom in the world to your kids? What does that look like to you? If you were that, then what activities would you and your kids be doing? Would they be vegging out in front of the TV or computer, or would they be with you at the pool or exploring or learning a new activity? Do you want to be the top sales performer this quarter? How are you going to get there? Will it be by reading every single email that comes in your box or will it be to use more time listening to motivational tapes?

This week, I’m being mom. I’m cooking, I’m nurturing, I’m reading, I’m exercising, and I’m shopping. I nevertheless have work to do, but I’ll be doing it after hours. Next week, I’ll be working on my products, and finding editors and writing and editing my book. I’ll start to set up meetings with possible business partners and alliances.

Next Saturday, August 18, 2007, I’ll be giving one of my favorite workshops: “Developing Your Inner appeal” at The Knowledge Shop in Winter Park. ( It’s Saturday from 1-4PM. When you see me there, I’ll be The appeal Coach! I’ll be cheering the participants on, and helping them to see where their special radiance is located. And I will know that I will be experiencing mine: helping others find what works for them. I will feel that special feeling of loving being a coach, and know, that I was the best mom that I could be all week, and that’s the best feeling to know… that I can do both!

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